Repenting From Instagram Idolatry and Putting God Back in The Spotlight

This article is also posted over at She Leads Daily!

Instagram makes me want to upgrade my life, now. Nicer house? Yes, please. Skinnier body? Yes, please. Minimalistic, #girlboss with cute clothes? Yes, yes, yes please! 

We live in a strange culture and in strange times. The level of self-absorption and superficiality on social media is incredible, and yet we can’t stop looking.

We can’t stop taking in this toxic and mesmerizing parade, hoping somehow it will enlighten and motivate us to a better version of ourselves. 

We even see Christian leaders flaunting and building themselves up, and it can all be very confusing. Aren’t we called to be different? I can relate to what the psalmist must have been feeling when he wrote:

“They have all fallen away; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.” (Psalm 53:3, English Standard Version)

Oh God, please help us. Can we all just collectively admit for a moment how guilty we are here? How prone to the same DEEP pitfalls we are; envy, vanity, selfishness and idolatry? When it comes to our use of social media, most of us are way beyond needing some peppy, encouraging advice about humility. Most of us are in need of deep repentance. To come to God’s feet in complete honesty, and allow our deepest motives to unfold before Him. We need a genuine healing and perspective-shift. We need a new start.

Can I confess something to you? I only spent two measly weeks on Insta before I called it quits. 

I couldn’t hack it. It was weighing me down and I didn’t have a clear grasp on how I wanted to use it. I lacked the strength of purpose that could have helped me rise above the more inconsequential battles I was having: the jealousy of other women, the discouragement of feeling insignificant and behind, and the indignation I felt over the mass-deception taking place in front of my eyes. 

I feel silly admitting this to you. Like a little girl throwing a tantrum because she can’t handle reality. But aren’t we all really just little girls on the inside? Fragile, and desperate for love, attention and our own little brand of stardom?

We have a Father who is waiting to give us all that we need and so much more. As we learn to walk closely with Him, our hearts will be full and satisfied beyond what we knew possible. Maybe we will use Instagram or other social media, but if we do, let it be with God’s real love and purpose pulsing through us so we can see from above. Not in arrogance, but in a true humility that desires to serve and love people; not envy others and elevate ourselves. 

Thank you God, that you have called us to better things.

Hearing Psalm 73 was a powerful turning point for me, so much so that I rewrote it in my own words. If you need to read and pray these words, my hope is that this would be a starting point to lead you into a deeper and more honest connection with Jesus. 

God is good to us who are pure in heart. My feet almost stumbled and slipped because I was envious of those I was seeing on Instagram. I was envious of these people living beautiful-looking lives, with strength and pride in themselves. They are finding real prosperity!

They are not in pain, they are skinny, they seem to have enough money, look healthy and they don't look downcast or in trouble like the people I know in real life. Therefore they are happy in their skin and with their lives and they flaunt it for everyone to see. They sit above us and laugh and clink champagne glasses with their friends, and we all start looking to THEM (not God) for who we want to be like. They don't really believe that God knows best or that he's even listening to and seeing all they are doing. And this is what wicked people get? Great wealth and an easy life? What!? Am I am idiot for having tried to stay pure all these years? For trying to live a Christian life and not flaunt my own wealth or successes? What have I been doing? What a waste! I should have at least been building some sort of credentials or plan for success. But I am home with my small children everyday, living this dreary life, playing maid to my family. And if I tried to do any differently I feel that I would be betraying the calling you have placed on my life. So why them and not me?

When I tried to figure all of this out, it seemed too confusing. Until I went into prayer and you showed me what eternity will look like for the wicked. Sometimes I forget that nobody really gets away with anything, and you ARE watching this all.

The wicked, deceiving people will have their time, be it here on earth, or when their life is finished. They will come to ruin and be destroyed in a moment. You see what is happening and they will have their run in with you. In the brief time that I was trying to be like them, I was turning away from you also. I was brutish and ignorant, and didn't want to look at you. I was angry at you because I thought for all this time you were trying to make me a loser. 

Nevertheless, you gently took my heart and steered it back to you, and now I again am grasping your hand and walking by your side. And YOU will guide me here on Earth, and after I am finished here I will be with you there. What do I really have other than you? Everything on this earth is empty without you, and when my heart stops beating, you will still be with me. I am yours and you are mine forever.

For behold, those who are far away from you will perish. You will do away with all of this evil. But for me, it is good to be near God. I have made him my safety and will spend myself in this life telling people about his great works. 

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When Mommy’s Heart is Stolen by Her Work

This is something that many of us need to come face to face with.

It is a heart-of-hearts kind of issue, deeper than many of the topics being tackled in women’s circles at this moment.

Many of us are at home with our children, but our hearts have drifted far away.

We rush through our responsibilities and relationships with our family, so we can get to our own passion projects: our blog, our business, our book, or whatever venture has stolen our heart.

 And here is the tricky thing: Right now, all of the articles, all of the advice, all of the everything is AFFIRMING our plans for ourselves. The Christian community at-large has even taken a sharp lean toward empowering women to be more self-regarding and entrepreneurial. This is not always a bad thing, and as a woman, I am grateful for the many roads that have been paved for my gender.

BUT, in the most influential messages that are reaching our ears and our hearts- not many are speaking of the priorities God’s word calls women to:

Surrender, humility, submission to our husbands, and being good mommies.

(Eph 5:22, Col 3:18-21, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1, Eph 6:4, 1Tim 3:4-5)

These are the high callings on a women’s life!

These are beautiful, godly and more powerful and relevant than ever!

But most of us have had our heart stolen away to the tune of something that seems so good and appealing to our own sense of success. This is not the way to godliness.

I believe that the enemy is perfectly content to have a mom physically at home, so long as he can steel, mess-with, and ultimately mess up her heart. Get her so self-focused that she is no longer any kind of threat for the kingdom of God, but only works tirelessly to better herself.

 Be on guard!

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1Peter 5:8)

If you are not spending daily time with God, in prayer, reading your word and SURRENDERING your plans to let Him unfold them how and when He would like, then chances are you are in the throes of deception.

But the great news is that God always offers us a new start and such endless grace. If you feel you have gotten so off course and wrapped up in your own plans, I would suggest doing a fast and praying for God’s direction over your life.

 A few months ago, I was in an unclear place, pushing forward in my own plans and dreams, with my heart slowly drifting from my family. God was so gracious to show me, adjusted me and put me back on a healthy path with Him- with my husband and my children properly prioritized in my life.

So my advice to you is simple: Go to Him and ask. Ask Him to show you and reveal HIS will for your life and your time right now.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:9-13)

If you continually surrender yourself and lay your desires at His feet; continue to seek your promise-land in HIM, I believe He will ultimately give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

But outside of His plan, His will, and His order of things, you will always be stretching and manipulating, and neglecting that which is most important.

Whatever our work, our calling, our ministry in life- we should always be aiming and prioritizing to grow closer to Jesus, and his plans for our marriage and motherhood. These are the most beautiful, difficult and ultimately maturing factors- the refining fires for our hearts to grow and be able to truly give and minister from a selfless place!

Don’t quit, Mama!

Build Friendships that Uplift You With These Three Simple Steps

A few weeks ago my friend Crystal and I sat at a little downtown café to sip coffee and grab a delicious farm-to-table lunch. We sat for almost 3 hours. We laughed a lot, cried a little, and caught up on each other’s lives. I had my husband’s blessing to spend the money, take my time and enjoy myself- and I did!

During those three hours of chatting, eating, and sipping coffee, we talked about the important things: our marriages, our kids, our dreams, our recent successes and failures. And we both left feeling understood and uplifted. It was pure friendship bliss!

I met Crystal about 3 years ago, and we have so many commonalities: we’re both in our mid-30’s, and both desire to draw closer to Jesus, and find more order, peace and wholeness. We are both kind-hearted, sensitive and reserved about who we get close to. She is a GREAT friend. We both love to get dressed up and go out with our husbands together for Mexican food- or we can call each other in a crisis.

Friendship really can be the best of both worlds: The fun and the celebratory, and also sharing the deepest, hardest, most sobering moments.

If you are a tactful lady who desires to find this kind of friendship (with one or a few other women), I can really break everything I’ve learned about making friendships wonderful into 3 parts.

1. People don’t need you to be like them- they need you to be like you.

I remember one evening many years back, having a new-years, goal-setting session with my husband. I was feeling lonely at the time because I was not really connecting with any other women in our church. I told my husband:

“I just feel different from them. Like I don’t fit.”

I always felt a strong desire to serve and love Jesus, and even though these were other church women, I didn’t feel like many shared my passion.

“They don’t need you to be like them. They need you to be like you.”

I remember in the moment feeling a sweet, emotional connection with my husband, but also a distinct sense of purpose. Yes, I was not going to let other women’s styles and interests dictate who I would become. I felt strongly called to some kind of spiritual leadership- and if I was ever going to step into those shoes, I needed to be okay standing there alone. I think God really used that season to solidify my convictions, and maybe he is doing the same right now for you.

You have Jesus, you have your family and you have your convictions. Stay true to those three things and many of the more shallow relationships that you have will fall away. And that is a good thing because it will open up some space and breathing room for the right ones.

2. Put up distinct boundaries.

This is so key to good friendships, ESPECIALLY if you are introverted like I am. I will share with you two distinct scenarios that helped me learn this lesson. I have a feeling you will relate…

• Back in my early 20’s I would sometimes find myself in situations with a certain friend that were WAY outside of my comfort zone. Driving around with no plans, or stuck at someone’s house, as we ran around all over kingdom come on her agenda. I often didn’t have the backbone to speak up and say: “I’d like to go home now, please.”

  This was literally a different lifetime ago for me. But I can remember that icky, out-of-control feeling, and I NEVER want to feel that way again.

• Another time in the not-so-distant past, I became close friends with someone who was always having marriage troubles. She and I would talk a lot about these issues. I would listen and then gently counsel her in the things of God, or sometimes just offer to pray with her over whatever the current situation was. This was a godly friendship, in a sense, because we were both believers, but I did not put up clear boundaries for myself, and because of that, I became overwhelmed.

  As a self-protective introvert, this friendship began to suck the emotional life out of me. I felt bullied in a way, but I wasn’t being bullied- I had just allowed things to go to such a level where I felt like I couldn’t speak my mind, and I couldn’t say “no” without feeling like I had to make up an excuse. We should be able to say no. But if you are sensitive and accommodating like I am, sometimes you feel you’ve been pushed into a corner before you even realize it happened.

Some people are always in a new crisis and seem to expect you to take on their sense of urgency. Maybe they call you and expect you to spend a long time on the phone, and you feel you are being “dumped on” again. Or maybe there is yet another emergency where they need you to watch their kids, or loan them money or your car, or whatever. And it’s such a struggle! Because we don’t always know whether it’s time for grace and sacrifice, or time to say a hard “no”.

In my current stage of life, I cannot handle “needy” friendships. I am always here to talk, and pray and offer a helping hand because my goodness I know that life can be so stinking hard. But I have to be realistic to the season of life I am in, and with four needy children and a husband, I just don’t have the capacity to be available for someone else 24/7.

I know that we are all different, and for some people being available 24/7 is what friendship is all about. But here is what I am encouraging:

Know what season of life you are in and what you are capable of giving, and build awesome, give-and-take friendships that fit within the realities of your life, your budget, you schedule, your family and your priorities. You will love and enjoy your friendships so much more this way!!

With the right boundaries, friendship really can feel like a cool glass of water.

3. Take the lead in getting real.

If you want to build friendship where you really know each other- be brave and take the lead in speaking honestly, sharing struggles and being yourself. Even if you’re weird. We’re all weird!

I’m very blessed to have a gaggle of women in my life who I have made it a practice to be honest with. I may not have all the time right now to get together with each of them- but there is nothing like being able to pull up to soccer practice, unload my kids and have a couple of girlfriends who I can just get right to it with- cry, laugh, celebrate, vent a little. Sisters-in-Christ are just the best like that! What a blessing!!

Pray for a loving, genuine heart toward your friends. It is high time to rise above any gossip or mean-heartedness in your friendships. We have bigger fish to fry and we need other women to laugh with, cry with and understand all of the things about us that our man cannot!

It’s time to create beautiful friendships!

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Healing Your ♥ When Your Family of Origin was Broken by Divorce

A FREE 7-DAY E-MAIL COURSE TO HELP YOU:

• Identify deeply-rooted issues from your broken past

• Find peace and trust as you allow God to surface these issues

• Continually walk toward a full healing

• Flourish in your marriage and home

• Step out of old, ingrained thought-patterns and into the woman you were created to be!

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How to Have a Simple Easter

This is not another plan, or checklist, or give-me-your-email-address-and-I-will-send-you-5-tips-to-have-a-simple-Easter!

This is simply what my family decided to do last year, amidst the general overwhelm of life, to have a close-to-home, simple, faith-and-family-centric Easter.

As Moms, it is very easy to get caught up in family traditions, and holiday pressures can pile up fast and thick.

We let our extended families know a few weeks in advance that we would not be joining them for Easter. We did not over-explain or give excuses. There is no need for that if you and your husband are on the same page about what is best for your family.

Here is what we did:

In the morning, our children came downstairs to find pinwheels and a note. We don’t do Easter baskets because we don’t feel they are necessary. We might give each child a small gift, but that is it. They are always excited for whatever they get.

My daughter and I like waking up early to make a special breakfast on holidays, so we had a nice breakfast together before heading out the door for church.

My daughter loves the excitement of getting up before everyone else to help Mommy make breakfast:-)

I like the dressing-up part of Easter. Nobody got a new outfit, but we did dress up for church. Here are our family photos of us with our children on the porch heading off to church.

the girls!

the boys!

This guy:-)

After church we came home and put our little boys down for a nap, and then began working together to prepare our “Easter Meal”, which was ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, salad, pineapple and maybe one or two other fixings. I’m fuzzy on the details here- what I had prepared the day before, what jobs each person did (or how much they actually helped, haha), or whether we ate before or after the boys woke up. No matter. The point is that we didn’t go over-the-top with food and kept things pretty simple.

While the little ones were down for their nap, we played a game of Monopoly with the big kids. Daddy fell asleep.

Real life, folks.

I can see in this picture that I bought Derek’s favorite Alouette pub cheese dip and flat pretzels. Busting out the good snacks!:-)

After the boys woke up and we all had eaten, we took a walk down to the park as a family. This is a favorite family activity. We shoot hoops, swing on swings and monkey around. After the park we walked down to the lake. The kids took their shoes off to dip their feet in the icy, early-spring water, and we all skipped rocks. This scenario can sometimes end in soggy children that we have to carry up the hill to our house because they got overly-ambitious in their “feet-dipping”. Moms, you know exactly what I mean:-)

So the rest of the evening is kind of a blur. I believe that some family stopped by and we hung around in the yard, we threw the football and let the little boys drive around in their battery-powered truck. Maybe we built a fire. Oh yes! We did do an Easter egg hunt with little stickers and jelly-beans inside and talked about the story of Christ with our resurrection eggs. (I just love these!)

And this photo tells me that at some point Layla and Daddy made smoothie bowls (their favorite).

The best part about the day was that it was spent together, making memories and having quality time with our children. All they ever want is for Mommy and Daddy to slow down, pay attention and engage with them. It is sad that it might actually take a holiday to make that happen; but on this particular holiday, that is exactly what we decided to do.

We said “no thank you” to others, and “yes” to the most important people in our lives. We kept things simple so that we could enjoy what matters.

We took small opportunities to thank Jesus and talk about what He did for us- but really, we try to do that in our lives everyday.

The point is that you do not need a formula, a how-to-guide, or a lot of money to have a special, simple Easter. Just plan a few special things and spend time with the ones you love!

For the Weary Heart: A Simple Christmas Story

Today I'm stressed and heavy-hearted, and this morning I drive home with teary eyes and feel like I will give out if anything or anyone requires any more of me. I'm weary and worn and I have been, WE have been pinched tight and stretched thin in all ways possible. And spiritually sometimes it feels like just enough. Just enough release. Just enough of the word. Just enough Holy Spirit to get me through the rest of these chores and the rest of this day. But I don't think this is how I was created to live and this is too much weight. And I want peace that flows like a river, and joy that bubbles over, and calmness and happy-mommyness, but this morning I am failing. And I tell my husband through teary eyes that I. Am. Failing. I'm failing at waking up early and doing the things I want to do, I'm failing at eating how I want to be eating and exercising. I want to be a better mommy. I want to be more attentive to everyone around me, and loving and sweet and.... not how I am.

My husband tells me to come here- lay by him. We hold each other, arms wrapped around and breathe and know that we need Jesus. We are best friends, but especially at times like this. We just know. And he just knows right where I'm at. He strokes my hair and tells me to breathe in. I want you to do the same right now- breathe in. Breathe deeply and push everything away. All the thoughts, all the clutter- just push it all away.

And I'm aware in that moment that it's layers and layers deep. After one layer of thought comes another and then another. I'm failing and things suck and life is heavy and there are more layers than I even realize. So I do my best to push it ALL away because what else can I do in that moment but listen. I'm hungry for peace. Are you hungry for peace too?

Then, very quietly, after the breathing, he begins to tell me the story. The story in the simplest of ways, as I have never heard it. Still stroking my hair, still breathing and tear stained. And I want to tell it to you now, how he told it to me:

In the beginning was nothing- just God. And he made the heavens and earth. Everything just quiet and still. And he decided, just because he wanted to, to fill it with greenery and animals and people. He made Adam and Eve and they sinned and turned away from him and wanted to do things their own way. And this brought evil into the world. And now, there is all of these evil, corrupt people just doing what they want. But then, God sent Jesus. Innocent. Perfect. Into this messy, messed-up world, and he died for all of that evil. So that all you have to do is believe in him and you can live in heaven and in peace with him for eternity. And he left behind his Holy Spirit so that he's with you now. And that's what Christmas is about. 

I had never heard it told so simply and beautifully, and it never touched me just like that. In the simplest of ways when you need to be reminded that the simple truth is what matters. God is what matters and this beautiful truth of him reaching, stretched, loving arms open for us. 

So God please help us to not get caught up in expectations, and trying to find the perfect gifts, and get-togethers where we feel we need to straighten our hair and paint our nails. But more than that, help us to not get caught up in our own pressures, our own thoughts about what we should be doing to make things nicer, or more special, or more simple, or more anything! There are 1,000 articles to read about what you can do to keep Christ at the center of this season, or make your kids less materialistic. But here's what I will do: I will keep praying for God to take my ego, my pride and anger down a few notches. I will continue to pray for the people on my "forgiveness list". I'll just do my best at what I've been given and ask God to help me love more, and spend more time with him. 

But mostly, I want to live in the simplicity of story my husband whispered in my ear this morning. Mostly, I want to reach up and hold that perfect hand that is reaching down to me. And just be a daughter this Christmas.

Are Your Dreams an Idol?

Ambitious. Goal-setter. Go-getter. These are all words with a very positive connotation in our culture. Our achieving, writing, dreaming, making, entrepreneurial culture. We have our sights set on it; that goal, that dream, that version of ourself that we want to get to. We'll find the right graphics, make the perfect business card and website, make the right connections. 

I look online for a Christian life-coach and I find some. Ones who will listen to my plans and dreams and help me to get there. To what I want- not what God wants.

What does God want from me? We get scared away from this because of what we don't want to give up. Push and pace and cell phones and starvation. And women who were meant to be full, child-bearing, well-nourished beauties- push and starve themselves hollow of anything rich and good and true, to chase an elusive skinny, successful shadow. A picture on their new website, and how many likes? We can surround ourselves with meaningless noise and make it feel so right.

What are you chasing? What are you running away from God for? It's not worth it!

For me, it's the comfort of my bed in the morning. It's warm blankets that lull me away because they feel so pure and warm and nice. It's cozy. It's comfortable. It's warmth. These comforts that lure me away from the presence of my savior in the morning and into a sweet, dense fog. They trick me into how I start my day almost every morning. Wishing I had gotten up sooner. Wishing I had spent time with my savior and allowed him to adjust my vision, wake me up, REALLY wake me up and fill me with his Holy Spirit and peace. Help, God. 

It's all the difference in the world.

Then in the afternoon when I finally get a chance to have my quiet time, it's this: My dreams and hopes of success. 

Am I praying to find Jesus and surrender myself to him? But I really want a blog and a book and a ministry- but I need his blessing, his covering, his unction to fall upon me with the right words to write. I want him, but I want him because I want what he has to offer me. All he can help me to accomplish. His peace, his blessing. And I know this, and I don't feel shame. And in my sin nature I keep coming back for just enough of him. Just enough to get by and keep moving forward. Just enough for my selfish peace of mind. Shame on me. Shame on us. Let us break open at his feet today and get honest about what we've really been wanting. What we've really been aiming for. God help us!

Proverbs 14:12

Proverbs 16:25

Instagram Feelings

Instagram makes me want to upgrade my life, now. Nicer house? Yes, please. Skinnier body? Yes, please. Minimalistic, #girlboss with cute clothes? Yes, yes, yes please! 

We live in a strange culture and in strange times. The level of self-absorption and superficiality on social media is incredible, and yet we can’t stop looking. We can’t stop taking in this toxic and mesmerizing parade, hoping somehow it will enlighten and motivate us to a better version of ourselves. 

We even see Christian leaders flaunting and building themselves up, and it can all be very confusing. Aren’t we called to be different? I can relate to what the psalmist must have been feeling when he wrote:

“They have all fallen away; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.” (Psalm 53:3, English Standard Version)

Oh God, please help us. Can we all just collectively admit for a moment how guilty we are here? How prone to the same DEEP pitfalls we are; envy, vanity, selfishness and idolatry? When it comes to our use of social media, most of us are way beyond needing some peppy, encouraging advice about humility. Most of us are in need of deep repentance. To come to God’s feet in complete honesty, and allow our deepest motives to unfold before Him. We need a genuine healing and perspective-shift. We need a new start.

Can I confess something to you? I only spent two measly weeks on Insta before I called it quits. 

I couldn’t hack it. It was weighing me down and I didn’t have a clear grasp on how I wanted to use it. I lacked the strength of purpose that could have helped me rise above the more inconsequential battles I was having: the jealousy of other women, the discouragement of feeling insignificant and behind, and the indignation I felt over the mass-deception taking place in front of my eyes. 

I feel silly admitting this to you. Like a little girl throwing a tantrum because she can’t handle reality. But aren’t we all really just little girls on the inside? Fragile, and desperate for love, attention and our own little brand of stardom?

We have a Father who is waiting to give us all that we need and so much more. As we learn to walk closely with Him, our hearts will be full and satisfied beyond what we knew possible. Maybe we will use Instagram or other social media, but if we do, let it be with God’s real love and purpose pulsing through us so we can see from above. Not in arrogance, but in a true humility that desires to serve and love people; not envy others and elevate ourselves. 

Thank you God, that you have called us to better things.

Hearing Psalm 73 was a powerful turning point for me, so much so that I rewrote it in my own words. If you need to read and pray these words, my hope is that this would be a starting point to lead you into a deeper and more honest connection with Jesus. 

God is good to us who are pure in heart. My feet almost stumbled and slipped because I was envious of those I was seeing on Instagram. I was envious of these people living beautiful-looking lives, with strength and pride in themselves. They are finding real prosperity!

They are not in pain, they are skinny, they seem to have enough money, look healthy and they don't look downcast or in trouble like the people I know in real life. Therefore they are happy in their skin and with their lives and they flaunt it for everyone to see. They sit above us and laugh and clink champagne glasses with their friends, and we all start looking to THEM (not God) for who we want to be like. They don't really believe that God knows best or that he's even listening to and seeing all they are doing. And this is what wicked people get? Great wealth and an easy life? What!? Am I am idiot for having tried to stay pure all these years? For trying to live a Christian life and not flaunt my own wealth or successes? What have I been doing? What a waste! I should have at least been building some sort of credentials or plan for success. But I am home with my small children everyday, living this dreary life, playing maid to my family. And if I tried to do any differently I feel that I would be betraying the calling you have placed on my life. So why them and not me?

When I tried to figure all of this out, it seemed too confusing. Until I went into prayer and you showed me what eternity will look like for the wicked. Sometimes I forget that nobody really gets away with anything, and you ARE watching this all.

The wicked, deceiving people will have their time, be it here on earth, or when their life is finished. They will come to ruin and be destroyed in a moment. You see what is happening and they will have their run in with you. In the brief time that I was trying to be like them, I was turning away from you also. I was brutish and ignorant, and didn't want to look at you. I was angry at you because I thought for all this time you were trying to make me a loser. 

Nevertheless, you gently took my heart and steered it back to you, and now I again am grasping your hand and walking by your side. And YOU will guide me here on Earth, and after I am finished here I will be with you there. What do I really have other than you? Everything on this earth is empty without you, and when my heart stops beating, you will still be with me. I am yours and you are mine forever.

For behold, those who are far away from you will perish. You will do away with all of this evil. But for me, it is good to be near God. I have made him my safety and will spend myself in this life telling people about his great works. 

When you wish you had more self-discipline

This is what it feels like to have poor self-discipline: 

You're laying in bed angry, frustrated and wishing you had gotten up earlier. The baby is crying in his room, and you had been doing SO well for 2 weeks straight- getting up to have your quiet time, exercising and sticking to that eating plan. What happened?

It feels like you can't stick to anything longterm.

Why can my husband make a decision, and flip a switch and start a new habit like a robot? And I am constantly flopping and failing in my goals. Is it because he played sports, and stuck with things and learned at an early age that he can't listen to his feelings all the time? My childhood was pretty much the opposite- all feelings, not much sticking-it-out. I use to feel angry that my parents never made me stick with something long term. Soccer, piano, tennis, dance, anything. It would be so nice to have a refined skill set, and fully developed my potential in even just one area.

Do you wish for the same?

Do you ever wish you had really seen something through? That someone was there cheering you on and helping you always take the next right step?

Do you, like me, now feel handicapped (and a little resentful at times) that you can't seem to stick with healthy changes in your life for the long haul? 

Well, dear, if that is you too, then I want to remind us both of something:

"God uses all things together for the good for those who love him and are called according to his purposes." Romans 8:28

This scripture is just the best. Whenever we are tempted to focus on the ways that we were short-changed or overlooked, BOOM, Romans 8:28. I just love it.

Because I don't know about you, but the truth is that it was in all of my FAILING that I came to Christ. And it is all of my failing, weak moments that still make me cry out and realize how much I need him. (And it is my failing moments- not my success- right now that is connecting me to you. Praise God!) 

The failure, the depression, when I don't have it in me to win at life and be successful. 

The times I am trying to give so much to my kids that I wasn't given. Be so much for my kids that nobody was for me.

And looking back it was my broken past that lead me to Jesus.

It was not in spite of falling through the cracks that I came to him, it was BECAUSE I had fallen through the cracks.

All of the people in my life who let me down, served as arrows to point me to Jesus. If I had gone through high school in a stable home with good grades and lots of support- I don't believe I would have ultimately ended up on my knees at God's feet. Peoples' love and affirmation might have been just sweet enough to keep me trudging forward in my own strength. Just strong enough, just whole enough, that I might be missing out on the real lover of my soul. The one who gave me life and gives me REAL love, REAL wholeness, and REAL strength. 

Yes, I am tempted at times to wish my earlier life had panned out differently. I wish someone had seen to it that I had stuck some things out so I could have had better grades, a better degree, could play an instrument or a sport really well.

But would I trade in my wholeness in Christ for all of that? NO WAY!!!

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

God let us know it! Let us know that you have worked (and are working) our broken past and our broken moments for your glory. Let us keep letting you work in our hearts and lives- so they can be more beautiful and look how YOU want them to look. Amen. 

Permission to say NO to Everything

There is a season in life to say "no". When you are in the thick of motherhood with little ones who need your full time and attention, and a house and a husband, and quite possibly a job on top of it all, dear good grief you do not have to go to your second cousin’s gender reveal party. Or your Uncle’s surprise 70th, or your in-law’s barbecue to meet their college roommates. Nothing if you don’t want to. I give you full permission, sweet lady.

A few months back when I was looking up ways to politely decline invitations to things without lying, I came across some helpful hints. But mostly I already knew. I just had to be brave enough to tell the truth. Lately I have sent a lot of texts and made a lot of phone-calls that go something like this:

“I’m so sorry, that sounds wonderful and we would love to be there, but we are stretched thin right now and need to stick to our schedule…”

Sometimes I even just say: “I’m sorry we’re not going to make it to that.”

No need to over-explain, no need to lie. Don’t lie. It never feels right, because it's not right.

You are a mother, darn it. The queen of your own castle. You have little people who are relying on you to be good, and well, and not overly-stressed, and in tune with THEIR needs- not everyone else's. If that is not more important than another gathering, I don’t know what is.

Yes, we love these people. Yes, their intentions are great and they want our company, but at the end of the day I am always happier that I have done something more laid back, more stress-free, and more in line with my own family’s needs. Life will go on and move forward, and in a less busy season of life, we will not be stretched so thin.

BUT, let this season teach you to stick with what is important and only that. My husband often reminds me of the story of Nehemiah rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem. Many neighboring leaders were plotting against him and kept sending messengers to distract him from his work. His reply was this:

“I am in the middle of a great work, and I can’t come down...”

So are you, Mama!

---

This book helped me in my venture to slow down and say "no" more. It's a simply lovely read!

Check it our here!

Everything-but-the-kitchen-sink Smoothie for Kids!

This smoothie is my go-to power, nutrient, vitamin and mineral packed punch for my kiddos!

I make this about 3 mornings per week and set a timer for 6 minutes.

My oldest son is my pickiest eater, but even he has learned to take this down no problem. He has also learned that there is no use in whining and complaining, because we've been doing this for years. My younger three actually enjoy the smoothie, and I probably wouldn't even need to set a timer if it were not for the oldest.

And without further delay, here it is. Our Everything-but-the-kitchen-sink Smoothie:

(Makes about 3 large smoothies)

• 1 cup of frozen berries (strawberries, blueberries or mixed berries- whatever you have)

• 1 banana

• handful of kale (or baby kale/spinach mix is a little gentler)

• 2 raw egg yolks (good quality, local, unpasteurized eggs- ONLY the yolks)

• 2 tablespoons of flaxseed or flaxseed powder (I use this brand)

• 1 tablespoon of collagen hydrolysate (I love this brand!)

• 1 small cube of frozen raw, grass-fed beef liver (whhhaaat? yes, I said raw beef liver. If you don't know all of the benefits of raw, grass-fed organ meats, check it out!)

• 1/2 cup of cultured, unsweetened yogurt (optional for creamer texture) or a few ice cubes for icier texture

• 1 1/2 cups of raw milk

• 1/2 cup of whatever, good-quality juice

• maaaybe 3 drops of liquid stevia to sweeten the deal- or a half scoop of this powder which I sometimes buy for myself.

Yes, this smoothie really does have everything but the kitchen sink!

But I find that it's extremely easy to throw together with what I already have on hand.  

We are a pretty laid-back family and as long as my kids are getting good nutrients into their body on a regular basis, then I am relatively lax on what they eat when we are out and about, at restaurants or gatherings. And by the grace of God, we have all remained very healthy!!

I hope this recipe helps to bring nourishment to your family as well. Cheers!