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3 Ways To Monetize Your Squarespace Website in 2020
First of all, if you are using Squarespace to run your business, blog or nonprofit the first thing I want to say is, well done.
THIS ALONE TELLS ME THAT YOU ARE CLASSY, SMART, NO-FRILLS AND POSITIONING YOURSELF FOR SUCCESS.
I’m a Blogger, Author, and Life Coach and I do A LOT of research in within my own niche, and as a Creative Entrepreneur at large.
Like you, I am ever growing and figuring out where my balance lies and where I want to invest more of my time and money.
This balance will look different for each of us, but I can assure you that, based on all of my research and experience, these are the top 3 ways you can use your Squarespace website to generate an income in 2020:
First of all, if you are using Squarespace to run your business, blog or nonprofit the first thing I want to say is, well done.
THIS ALONE TELLS ME THAT YOU ARE CLASSY, SMART, NO-FRILLS AND POSITIONING YOURSELF FOR SUCCESS.
I’m a Blogger, Author, and Life Coach and I do A LOT of research in within my own niche, and as a Creative Entrepreneur at large.
Like you, I am ever growing and figuring out where my balance lies and where I want to invest more of my time and money.
This balance will look different for each of us, but I can assure you that, based on all of my research and experience, these are the top 3 ways you can use your Squarespace website to generate an income in 2020:
1. Ads.
Ads are the most passive method of generating income from your website, and also one of the most common.
Many people use ads as their SOLE source of income from their website- and if that is the case, the name of the game becomes attracting as many visitors to their website as possible.
(This is why there are so many of those skeezy websites trying to masquerade and get you to click on them. Because they get paid by the number of visitors to their website.)
Fortunately most people generating income through ads have more integrity and actually create useful and helpful websites, and draw people there by using social media and strong SEO.
Based on all of my research, the GOLD-STANDARD for putting ads on your website would be an Ad Optimization service such as AdThrive or MediaVine.
(I have no affiliation with these companies).
These two companies take out the guesswork, simplify the process and pay well. Although both of these companies require a certain number of pageviews before you are eligible, I still believe this is the best structure to sustain healthy growth using Ads.
So, at the risk of stating the obvious:
If you want to start making money on your website using Ads, growing your number of pageviews is paramount!
If you are having trouble growing your traffic, I would HIGHLY recommend visiting Carly over at Blogging Like You Mean it. She offers some AMAZING courses to help get your business off the ground. Some of them are even free!
2. Affiliates
Affiliateship has been on the rise BIG TIME over the past year.
When you become an affiliate for someone, you are basically advertising one or more of their products for them (usually by making a recommendation in a blog post or in your newsletter).
You do this by inserting a special link that can be traced back to you, and anytime someone clicks that link and ultimately purchases something, you receive a commission from the sale.
In my opinion, the most ethical way to use affiliates is to ONLY recommend products and services that you have used yourself, and that you can honestly HIGHLY recommend to other people.
And while there are many large affiliateship programs (like Bluehost or Hostinger), that allow you to sign up, browse products and really streamline this whole process- most people I respect and admire agree that: the best way to use affiliates on your website is to contact the companies you want to work with directly.
In other words, if you really love a product and service and want to recommend it, get in touch and see if you can become an affiliate!
The best affiliate partnerships for you are the ones that give you a high percentage and again, that you can honestly recommend.
I have a small handful of products and services I am an affiliate for, and I treasure them because they all offer products and services that I’ve used myself, love so much and am EXCITED to recommend to other people!
PLUS AMAZON!!
I use amazon affiliates as well, because it’s so easy to sign-up and who doesn’t want to recommend something sold on Amazon every once in a while?
Amazon affiliate is a great place to get started if you are new or experimenting with affiliate marketing!
(IMPORTANT NOTE: Amazon will shut down your affiliate account if you include affiliate links in emails. So DO NOT include amazon affiliate links in your newsletter. I know several people who have made this very innocent mistake and been penalized.)
3. Selling Your Own Products.
This is the most fun way to make an income in my opinion!
If you are a creative entrepreneur like me, then creating your own products to sell is the most appealing option of all!
You have a gift, you have something to share, and that is why you are here!
Maybe you are looking for a simple way to create and sell your course or mini-course right within your Squarespace website.
Or maybe you are still trying to Give A Shape To Your Dream.
Maybe you are an artistic, detail-oriented woman looking to expand your ETSY shop into a real online business, or looking to launch your new groundbreaking e-book!
Whatever journey you are on, the beauty is that there are now SO MANY great resources to help you make your dreams a reality!
I wish you the best in your endeavors and in the slow, happy, steady progress of making your dreams come to life!!
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More Helpful Resources
Ad Network Advertising 101
How To Monetize a Squarespace Blog
The First Five Steps to Starting Your Dream Business
Do you have a dream brewing in your heart?
Something you can just picture yourself succeeding at and thriving in?
Everyday I talk to beautiful, smart Christian women who are pouring themselves into someone else’s plan-for-success.
They have their own goals and visions, but just struggle to see how they can make them a reality.
They are often too busy, too stressed, have too little time, too little money, and lack the direction to make their dreams a reality.
This was me for a long time!
Do you have a dream brewing in your heart?
Something you can just picture yourself succeeding at and thriving in?
Everyday I talk to beautiful, smart Christian women who are pouring themselves into someone else’s plan-for-success.
They have their own goals and visions, but just struggle to see how they can make them a reality.
They are often too busy, too stressed, have too little time, too little money, and lack the direction to make their dreams a reality.
This was me for a long time!
I would get so excited about a new program, and follow every single step, until I would lose steam, or realize that this was not really taking me where I wanted to go.
I think we often struggle to realize how adored and uniquely made we are to do our own thing.
There is so much out there calling to us, and it’s SO EASY to get absorbed in following in someone else’s footsteps.
But this isn’t what you were made for and you have more freedom than you realize!
I want to give you 5 steps to help you press in and build a strong foundation for following your dreams.
These are not what you would find in a typical business start-up course, but I truly believe that positioning yourself correctly from the beginning will be what sets the groundwork for keeping your life in balance, and letting you run freely on your own path!
1.Dance at God’s feet.
What I mean by this, is let your real self come out with God!
This is the safest place to let all of your deepest desires and wishes come out. Think of yourself like a little girl with her Daddy who she is able to just talk and dream freely with, with no judgement. Even though she doesn’t say all of the right things, there is still love and adoration in her Daddy’s eyes!
Give yourself permission to be yourself with Jesus.
Tell him what you really dream about. What movies and characters and songs and other people inspire you. Tell him how you picture your life! And don’t be afraid of how it sounds!
Maybe this can come out more freely and fully journaling to him in a notebook!
The point is that you give yourself the permission and time to open up and dream in the safe space with Daddy.
2. Surrender, pray and listen.
After you do the dancing and the dreaming and the getting it all out there- the next step is to quiet your heart, surrender, pray and listen.
Imagine yourself laying those dreams at God’s feet, literally. Surrendering everything you just told him you want, and telling him:
“I trust that you will give me what you want for me. If you want me to have parts of this dream, I will receive them gratefully and gladly, and the parts you don’t I trust that you have something different and better for me. I just want to trust you fully. Help me. I’m laying my dreams at your feet and listening, like a blank page in a book for you to write on.”
This is surrender.
And the way that God speaks most powerfully to us is through his word. So take some time next to read his word, and truly absorb what you think he’s telling you!
Repeat these first to steps DAILY for 30 days, and I promise you will find more peace, direction and clarity than you ever knew you could have!
3. Prioritize from the top down.
I highly doubt that you just have all of the time (and money) in the world to give yourself over fully to a new business or ministry venture. Especially if you are a wife and mommy.
That means that some things need to leave your plate in order to make room for this new pursuit.
And here is the most prudent and important advice I can give you:
Do not steal time away from your children, your husband or your relationship with God.
Those priorities need to remain a permanent fixture no matter what you take on- ESPECIALLY if you want God’s blessing over you life, your health and your pursuits. Because he has a way of slowing us down and letting us know when our priorities are out of whack (trust me, I know!)
Time spent on social media, your phone and television should be the first things that get cut! Fruitless, busy activities and time wasted on aimless and unhealthy relationships also.
If you want to do this well, cut the fat out of your life and start taking small steps that fit within the realities of your budget and your home life.
4. Invite Others In!
We need a community. We are the body of Christ and to each member he has assigned different gifts and roles, so we can all function together as something much bigger than ourselves.
Don’t try to be a one-woman show.
Reach out and talk to your pastor’s wife and other sisters in Christ about what your dreams and plans are.
I’m not sure what the end result for you will be, but God has a way of bringing us together and uniting us in purpose and cause.
Don’t hide!
5. Letting it go and moving it forward.
This is a balance. A dance of sorts.
We must continually surrender all of our dreams and motives to God, and sometimes there is a season for standing still and waiting to hear your next move.
But if you feel that God is leading you to move forward, do so prayerfully and resist the urge to plan out your entire future.
Sometimes God will give you just enough light for the step you’re on.
Step forward in faith.
And in all of this I can tell you this:
The best and most beautiful things are found in the intimacy with Jesus. If you think you are going to find an identity or sense of importance in your work, it will disappoint you.
The close places where your heart is fully understood and you are fully loved, that is where it’s at. No other person, or no amount of success can give you anything that good- and once you have that, everything else is just a bonus!
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The Bright Side of Staying Home: 3 Ways The Quarantine Has Been A Blessing
As we are all in this hunkered-down state, I can’t help but feel a certain sense of peace about how all of this is happening.
As believers in Christ, we are already attuned to the fact that God is in control no matter what. Not that fear or disappointment never creeps in for us, but the “peace that passes understanding” is real, and at times like this we can see that distinct mark.
I was talking to a friend the other day and we both echoed back what the other was feeling: This has brought about a lot of GOOD things. It has helped us to re-focus on things that REALLY MATTER.
Again, I am not blind to the tragedy. But I want to point out a few of the REALLY GOOD things taking place because of the restrictions this virus has enforced:
DISCLAIMER:
I am not in any way trying to downplay the tragedies occurring due to this virus. The purpose of this article is to bring light to some of the good things happening because we are forced to stay at home. If you think this material will offend you, please don’t proceed.
As we are all in this hunkered-down state, I can’t help but feel a certain sense of peace about how all of this is happening.
As believers in Christ, we are already attuned to the fact that God is in control no matter what. Not that fear or disappointment never creeps in for us, but the “peace that passes understanding” is real, and at times like this we can see that distinct mark.
I was talking to a friend the other day and we both echoed back what the other was feeling: This has brought about a lot of GOOD things. It has helped us to re-focus on things that REALLY MATTER.
Again, I am not blind to the tragedy. But I want to point out a few of the REALLY GOOD things taking place because of the restrictions this virus has enforced:
1. It has made us realize the state that our family is REALLY in.
When you are all stuck together under one roof for this many days, there is really no hiding what the issues are.
The lack of harmony amongst siblings is suddenly obvious.
The little annoyances are “annoying-er”.
The angry temper on that child is sticking out like a soar thumb.
Issues in our own hearts and marriages that were easy to distract ourselves from are suddenly brought front and center.
Many people are realizing they can’t stand their own family! It’s sad.
Rather than schools, jobs and activities holding everything in place, Mom and Dad must now create a schedule for the family that is healthy and balanced- when really, this is probably something we should have been doing all along.
Personally, I have realized A LOT during this time about what I want on my family’s schedule, and what I don’t. For some reason, this time has just made that more clear.
It has also made me want to be better, and more in-tune as a mom.
Our families (spouse and children) should come second only to God- yet many of us have lost touch with connecting and stewarding the most important responsibilities and relationships He has given us.
We have become too busy and our minds have been on other things.
My prayer is that this time would be a wake-up call.
That instead of finding other distractions (like alcohol, social media or entertainment) to get us through- that we would fully let all of this sink in. That through realization, repentance and realignment - we would begin fresh, with a new vision for stewarding our family and our time.
We’ve needed this!
And I pray that we would be courages enough to make the changes we feel God leading us to make.
2. It is forcing us to take a real rest.
For several years now I’ve been something of a minimalist.
My family has made it a practice to say “no” to most opportunities and invitations that come our way, so we can do a good job at the few things that matter and maintain a schedule that allows for regular restful time at home. (We have 4 kids, so I use the word restful loosely.)
But EVEN STILL, this new level of “nothingness” happening right now, has made me realize how much we have TRULY needed THIS kind of rest.
I feel we have all needed a real rest and God is giving it to us.
Did you know that before the Israelites entered the promise land, they were told that every 7 years, they were not to plant any crops so even the land had a chance to rest and replenish itself? And all debts incurred by the poor were to be forgiven on the seventh year as well?
We live in such a fast-pace, get-ahead time, that these kinds of socioeconomic practices are unthinkable!!
We don’t even honor the Sabbath Day, let alone a Sabbath Year!
And as believers we need to WAKE UP to the fact that rest and Sabbath are no longer a given. They are something we must purpose and make space for. (Even youth sports have crept over into Sundays.)
God has blessed us right now with this cushion of rest, and I pray that this time would not only help us REMEMBER how to be together- but also how to REST together!!
And that we would LOVE it and crave after it so much that we would reinstate the idea of a weekly Sabbath, as well as longer periods of REAL rest.
3. It is encouraging us to re-think our children’s education.
One of my children had just recently begun having a really tough time with school. There was tension with a couple of his peers among other things, and being that his class is very small and generally tight-nit, he was definitely feeling it.
At 16-years-old, for the first time ever, I watched him begin to loathe going to school. I could also see how these changes began effecting his health. He is normally a very upbeat and happy kid, who suddenly became tired, overwhelmed and stressed much of the time.
I had been praying for about two weeks for God’s hand to be on my family and my son, to get through the end of school. Three months felt like forever in an environment that suddenly felt toxic for him.
I can’t even describe the relief he has experienced and the weight I have watched come off of his shoulders, now getting to do school from home.
I have been talking to some other moms who are tuning into their children’s education for the very first time.
It can be scary to see the gaps and short-comings because we know we are ultimately responsible for their education and we don’t want to let them down. Tuning in is a GREAT thing.
When our children are at school all day it is easy to assume that things are going generally well, and that they are learning everything they need to know. But that is often not the case.
Teachers are human beings too, and just like within any other profession, there are some who are EXCEPTIONAL at what they do, but many who are just skating by. Add on top of this unbalanced policies, and dysfunctional behaviors of other students, and it is no wonder so many children come home stressed, anxious or just completely drained after school.
Many schools and teachers are WONDERFUL, for sure! But this has definitely become more the exception than the rule.
I have found myself praying many times over the last several weeks for the hearts of mothers and fathers to tune in to their children. I’ve also prayed for some parents to realize that homeschooling really is possible and to desire it.
Over the last several months God has shifted mine and my husband’s heart tremendously in this area, and we are now planning to homeschool our children next year.
I know this is not feasible for everyone- but I hope that the involvement and stepping into the role of primary-educator will stick for parents, regardless of what their children do for schooling next year.
I hope your family is finding peace, joy, provision and togetherness in this time!
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How I Created my Course on Squarespace at No Additional Cost
Are you wondering if it’s possible to create your course on your Squarepace website at no additional cost?
The short answer is: yes!
(Find out how you can do the same, here. Or keep reading to see how I did it!)
First of all: If you are using Squarespace to run your business, blog or nonprofit the first thing I want to say is, well done.
This alone tells me that you are classy, smart, no-frills and positioning yourself for success.
Are you wondering if it’s possible to create your course on your Squarepace website at no additional cost?
The short answer is: yes!
(Find out how you can do the same, here. Or keep reading to see how I did it!)
First of all: If you are using Squarespace to run your business, blog or nonprofit the first thing I want to say is, well done.
This alone tells me that you are classy, smart, no-frills and positioning yourself for success.
At the start of my own journey, I had so many people telling me to go with WordPress: the highly-customizable, been-around-the-block, everyone-uses-it option. I had experience building two websites using WordPress in the past, and both times found it extremely time-consuming, clunky and like it was all up to me to make it look good.
When I started RealStrong, my sister advised me to go with Squarespace and I’m SO GLAD I listened. I had a beautiful website up and running in a matter of days, and I haven’t looked back since!
If you’re not already familiar with my blog, welcome! My name is Audry Cece and I am all about helping thoughtful women create brilliant and purposeful lives centered around God and their family.
I love diving into the deep end with women and getting honest about what matters most: our mental and spiritual health, love lives, our sexuality, our children and more!
But today we are talking about a different area of importance: your work.
Whatever it is that you’re doing, I hope that you LOVE it and feel clear about your calling.
my passion and desire to teach is what sent me searching for a guide on How to Create A Squarespace Course at No Additional Cost.
The problem? I couldn’t find one!
(I found one course for around $200 that still required me to purchase and learn additional software- no thank you!)
So after absorbing dozens of YouTube videos, Squarespace forums and blog posts about the topic, I was able to piece together any easy system that allowed me to create the beautiful and simple course I was looking to create for my clients. SCORE!
I absolutely LOVE the ease at which I can now make new courses that are on-brand, FUN to create, and help serve my clients in a way that a book, e-book or blog post just couldn’t do. It’s an all-around WIN!
And since this kind of course did not exist, I actually decided to make my system into a course and sell it for super cheap!
Otherwise, here is what I can tell you from experience:
1.I saw the need, and then clarified and organized my message.
If this is not already obvious, you don’t want to create a course just for the sake of creating a course.
You must stay in the wheelhouse of your expertise, and fill a need that is unique to your clientele. You probably don’t need me to tell you this.
But what might not be so obvious, is how to organize this information and put it into “course form.”
In the method I use for creating your courses on Squarespace, each lesson is within the framework of a Blog Post.
So, I simply title each lesson, write out the content, add in any videos or images for that particular lesson, and add in the buttons that build the framework to my course. Simple as that.
I am then sure to go back over several times to clean it up, edit and add in any links where I need them.
2. I useD what is already available inside of Squarespace, as well as some other free programs like Canva, Loom and Unsplash.
There are so many easy-to-use and free options available to add design, color, texture and video to your online course!
I am a bargain-hunter who doesn’t like to pay for anything additional unless I absolutely HAVE TO!
That is why I didn’t want to have to buy an additional program, like Teachable, that would add another monthly expense and force me to learn an entirely new program.
I am here to tell you that IT IS entirely possible to create your paid or free course inside of Squarespace using what you already use for free!
3. When I got stuck, I used forums, YouTube Videos, and Upwork if I needed to outsource anything.
When in comes to tech and website-building, I would say Maria Forleo’s assesment is pretty darn correct that, “Everything is figuroutable.”
It may take time or a little bit of extra money if you need to outsource something, but if you know what you are looking to do, you can keep moving ahead bit by bit, even when you run into some snags.
Most of us are use to plowing forward in this way and it’s how we have gotten to where we are.
So don’t loose heart! If you are determined to build your course on Squarespace, I assure you that it can be done with a little time and effort.
And if you would like to get the simple formula I use for creating my courses and mini-courses on Squarespace, you can find that right here!
How To Create a Simple Course On Squarespace
When Mommy’s Heart is Stolen by Her Work
This is something that many of us need to come face to face with.
It is a heart-of-hearts kind of issue, deeper than many of the topics being tackled in women’s circles at this moment.
Many of us are at home with our children, but our hearts have drifted far away.
This is something that many of us need to come face to face with.
It is a heart-of-hearts kind of issue, deeper than many of the topics being tackled in women’s circles at this moment.
Many of us are at home with our children, but our hearts have drifted far away.
We rush through our responsibilities and relationships with our family, so we can get to our own passion projects: our blog, our business, our book, or whatever venture has stolen our heart.
And here is the tricky thing: Right now, all of the articles, all of the advice, all of the everything is AFFIRMING our plans for ourselves. The Christian community at-large has even taken a sharp lean toward empowering women to be more self-regarding and entrepreneurial. This is not always a bad thing, and as a woman, I am grateful for the many roads that have been paved for my gender.
BUT, in the most influential messages that are reaching our ears and our hearts- not many are speaking of the priorities God’s word calls women to:
Surrender, humility, submission to our husbands, and being good mommies.
(Eph 5:22, Col 3:18-21, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1, Eph 6:4, 1Tim 3:4-5)
These are the high callings on a women’s life!
These are beautiful, godly and more powerful and relevant than ever!
But most of us have had our heart stolen away to the tune of something that seems so good and appealing to our own sense of success. This is not the way to godliness.
I believe that the enemy is perfectly content to have a mom physically at home, so long as he can steel, mess-with, and ultimately mess up her heart. Get her so self-focused that she is no longer any kind of threat for the kingdom of God, but only works tirelessly to better herself.
Be on guard!
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1Peter 5:8)
If you are not spending daily time with God, in prayer, reading your word and SURRENDERING your plans to let Him unfold them how and when He would like, then chances are you are in the throes of deception.
But the great news is that God always offers us a new start and such endless grace. If you feel you have gotten so off course and wrapped up in your own plans, I would suggest doing a fast and praying for God’s direction over your life.
A few months ago, I was in an unclear place, pushing forward in my own plans and dreams, with my heart slowly drifting from my family. God was so gracious to show me, adjusted me and put me back on a healthy path with Him- with my husband and my children properly prioritized in my life.
So my advice to you is simple: Go to Him and ask. Ask Him to show you and reveal HIS will for your life and your time right now.
“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:9-13)
If you continually surrender yourself and lay your desires at His feet; continue to seek your promise-land in HIM, I believe He will ultimately give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).
But outside of His plan, His will, and His order of things, you will always be stretching and manipulating, and neglecting that which is most important.
Whatever our work, our calling, our ministry in life- we should always be aiming and prioritizing to grow closer to Jesus, and his plans for our marriage and motherhood. These are the most beautiful, difficult and ultimately maturing factors- the refining fires for our hearts to grow and be able to truly give and minister from a selfless place!
Don’t quit, Mama!
Are Your Dreams an Idol?
Ambitious. Goal-setter. Go-getter. These are all words with a very positive connotation in our culture. Our achieving, writing, dreaming, making, entrepreneurial culture. We have our sights set on it; that goal, that dream, that version of ourself that we want to get to. We'll find the right graphics, make the perfect business card and website, make the right connections.
I look online for a Christian life-coach and I find some. Ones who will listen to my plans and dreams and help me to get there. To what I want- not what God wants.
What does God want from me? We get scared away from this because of what we don't want to give up. Push and pace and cell phones and starvation. And women who were meant to be full, child-bearing, well-nourished beauties- push and starve themselves hollow of anything rich and good and true, to chase an elusive skinny, successful shadow. A picture on their new website, and how many likes? We can surround ourselves with meaningless noise and make it feel so right.
What are you chasing? What are you running
Ambitious. Goal-setter. Go-getter. These are all words with a very positive connotation in our culture. Our achieving, writing, dreaming, making, entrepreneurial culture. We have our sights set on it; that goal, that dream, that version of ourself that we want to get to. We'll find the right graphics, make the perfect business card and website, make the right connections.
I look online for a Christian life-coach and I find some. Ones who will listen to my plans and dreams and help me to get there. To what I want- not what God wants.
What does God want from me? We get scared away from this because of what we don't want to give up. Push and pace and cell phones and starvation. And women who were meant to be full, child-bearing, well-nourished beauties- push and starve themselves hollow of anything rich and good and true, to chase an elusive skinny, successful shadow. A picture on their new website, and how many likes? We can surround ourselves with meaningless noise and make it feel so right.
What are you chasing? What are you running away from God for? It's not worth it!
For me, it's the comfort of my bed in the morning. It's warm blankets that lull me away because they feel so pure and warm and nice. It's cozy. It's comfortable. It's warmth. These comforts that lure me away from the presence of my savior in the morning and into a sweet, dense fog. They trick me into how I start my day almost every morning. Wishing I had gotten up sooner. Wishing I had spent time with my savior and allowed him to adjust my vision, wake me up, REALLY wake me up and fill me with his Holy Spirit and peace. Help, God.
It's all the difference in the world.
Then in the afternoon when I finally get a chance to have my quiet time, it's this: My dreams and hopes of success.
Am I praying to find Jesus and surrender myself to him? But I really want a blog and a book and a ministry- but I need his blessing, his covering, his unction to fall upon me with the right words to write. I want him, but I want him because I want what he has to offer me. All he can help me to accomplish. His peace, his blessing. And I know this, and I don't feel shame. And in my sin nature I keep coming back for just enough of him. Just enough to get by and keep moving forward. Just enough for my selfish peace of mind. Shame on me. Shame on us. Let us break open at his feet today and get honest about what we've really been wanting. What we've really been aiming for. God help us!
Proverbs 14:12
Proverbs 16:25
Feminism: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
I know that a lot of us don't even want to read anything these days that rubs against what we already believe. We've lost the emotional energy. So I want to be straightforward about this: I am a moderate, thirty-something woman. Politically, I don't really open my mouth lately because I don't want to get my head bitten off. We are in a climate of extreme polarization, and I like to like things about people and political parties, and dislike other things. I bet a lot of you are the same. And it is a no-man's land
I know that a lot of us don't even want to read anything these days that rubs against what we already believe. We've lost the emotional energy. So I want to be straightforward about this: I am a moderate, thirty-something woman. Politically, I don't really open my mouth lately because I don't want to get my head bitten off. We are in a climate of extreme polarization, and I like to like things about people and political parties, and dislike other things. I bet a lot of you are the same. And it is a no-man's land for kind-hearted people who want to have real discussion. But here we are all trying to survive this climate the best we can. And hold true to what matters to us most. Hello, fellow sojourner! Can we have a discussion about feminism here today? About the good, the bad and the ugly? Where we are as a culture and where I hope we will go? Let's dive in, my kind-hearted friend. And let's start with all things good here.
THE GOOD
We feel heard. As women right now our voice has been given a platform. We are being heard. And not just heard, but listened to. Thank you. And I don't mean that lightly. Thank you to those who are sincerely leaning in and listening to the different and collective voices that are speaking about sexism, and our unique experiences being women.
We are United. As women we are probably more united than we have ever been as a gender. In large ways- reading books like Half The Sky, that touch our hearts and mobilize women of power and privilege to reach their arms out through humanitarian efforts to those who are not so privileged. Yes, yes, yes. We are hearing each other and reaching out for each other in dark places and in ways that have not been done before. Yes, my dear sisters. And in small ways too, as we post blogs and speak kind words to encourage one another to pursue our dreams, to build strong bodies, to take care of ourselves. We are loving and lifting each other up in ways that have not been done before. And it is wonderful.
Opportunities are wide open. It almost feels as if a door is being held wide open for us as a gender- and we just have to run through it. Of course, creating longterm success for anybody (any gender, any race) is a challenge. But somehow it all feels very doable right now. It feels like we really CAN create our dream life if we are willing to work hard for it. And work we will.
THE BAD
The Force. No, not the Star Wars force. I'm talking about people and groups forcing their version of feminism forward. Putting the cause above the human being. Voices screaming above other voices, and making certain women uncomfortable with who they've decided to be and how they've chosen to live. Feminism should not be one-size-fits-all. That is counterproductive. I am a very strong woman- an introverted, deep thinker who feels confident in my choices. But the fact that I am a stay-at-home mom (and a Christian one at that), immediately puts me in a category, in some peoples' eyes, that is anti-feminist. How sad. I am very much in favor of equality and women's rights. But what are those rights if they are not on our own terms? Does the fact that I am a stay-at-home mom who choses to support my husband in his career and nurture my family in this season of life, take away from my strength, value or equality as a woman? I hope you would say no. It is my choice after all. But I do sense that my choices are off-putting to certain people in my life. The underlying "force" of feminism should seek to broaden the ground on which we occupy. Not push or pressure women off of the ground they desire to occupy. I wish that the larger feminist movement could find room to not only champion women for finding success in roles that are traditionally male- but also women who are strong in tenderness, compassion, meekness and caregiving. To encourage women to be truer versions of themselves, not just one particular brand of "strong".
Reverse Sexism. Just today as I was driving through a small college town in VT, I saw a baby onsie in a boutique window that read: "The Future Is Female." I've seen this slogan before, and every time it causes a small twinge in my stomach. I have three sons and I sure hope they have a great future in this country as well. Permission to be themselves as well. And I believe they will, that is not what the "twinge" is about. It is just that if equality, not domination, is the goal, why are we willing to accept superiority from one side and not the other? There is a commercial I saw recently where a woman was throwing all of her boyfriend's belongings out onto the sidewalk, where he stood helplessly watching them smash and break against the concrete. It was clearly a rough breakup. But the commercial ended on a satisfied tone, with the female sitting down to watch TV, clearly feeling free, empowered and in control. Lovely. Except that you don't break peoples' stuff. And I couldn't help but wonder what the response to this commercial would be had the roles been reversed. Can you picture this commercial glorifying the strength of a male throwing all of his girlfriend's belongings onto the ground as she stood helplessly by? Such a commercial would never make it to the air, because the idea is just too appalling. We are in a culture that abhors male domination, but is giving the green light to female domination (maybe just in the name of good fun). But it's counter-productive to equality. And the interesting irony is that baby onesies and commercials like these, if they are not seriously implying female superiority, are meant only to be "cutesy", actually implying feminine weakness. And it's a step backward in my opinion, from where we should be heading.
A Forced Narrative. This point might get a little "heady" for a light read on a random blog- but it fuses together and really drives home the first two points. We all have our own opinions and thoughts. In this great country we get to express those opinions and thoughts because we have freedom of speech. Everyone is not so lucky. You can say what you feel to your best friend or your whole social network. But what starts happening when people are verbally bullied for having different thoughts or opinions? A cultural narrative starts forming that dare not be challenged. It's happened in times past, and is happening right here and right now. I realize that I'm walking on a thin tight rope over murky water where political views and anger lurk like crocodiles. And I'm certainly not someone who likes to get bit. But come on people! We have all become too weak-minded, and willing to just follow, when it comes to issues that have become "political". So in that same, tired spirit- here is a quote that I just love from a show that I really enjoyed called The West Wing. This was back in the 90's when there was more intellectual discussion and less bandwagoning. (Or at least that snarky, quick-witted, 90's gold!) When asked how she could possibly appose the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment), Ainsley Hayes replies:
"Because it's humiliating. A new amendment we vote on declaring that I am equal under the law to a man, I am mortified to discover there's reason to believe I wasn't before. I am a citizen of this country, I am not a special subset in need of your protection. I do not have to have my rights handed down to me by a bunch of old, white, men. The same Article 14 that protects you, protects me, and I went to law school just to make sure."
Thank you and yes!! Sometimes the forced narrative of feminism feels humiliating to me as a woman. I don't need to be told that I'm strong or equal to men, or have the same opportunities, because I am, and I do, and I've never believed otherwise. I know that many women cannot say the same, but the point of this point, is this: be aware of the narratives that some groups are trying to force onto you. The whole point of feminism is suppose to be for the woman- us. But for many groups it has become an agenda.
THE UGLY
Body Slamming. Some things are just downright ugly. Things people say or put together behind their screens and put out into the world anonymously, can just be treacherous. I saw a picture of Michelle Obama walking with two slender, fancily- dressed foreign dignitaries, and the caption read: "It's like two ferraris and a dump truck." I don't care who you are or what you think about Michelle Obama, this crude depiction should not have made it past the second or third poster. And the fact that it did is sad. And these mean-spirited posts exist all over the internet, often aimed at political figures, poking fun at their looks or bodies. We should be better than this low level of character. Body slamming is just plain ugly.
Name Calling. Don't get me started here. It seems like nothing is easier these days than name calling. Rather than hearing someone out on why they believe what they believe, it is easier to just stuff people into categories. Liberal, conservative, hippie, democrat, republican- and alllll of the fun adjectives we like to throw in for good fun. We are tearing up and eating each other alive. And we're all hurting. The ugliest thing on all sides of the feminist movement is when good care and character go out the window in the name of passion. When anger and rashness are unleashed, while reason and kindness are pushed to the back. We can all be guilty of this- but if you find yourself swearing in front of young ears, throwing harsh words around carelessly, or saying things out of anger to friends and family- it's time to step back and gain some perspective, because your efforts have likely become counter-productive.
Abortion. I can't skip this. It's an area that is so controversial and central to the issue of feminism. And I believe that it needs to be brought back into conversations, and spoken about with reason. Women's bodies cary babies- it is part of how we're made. Pregnancy and birth are rights of passage for mother and baby. I wish as a culture we would have more of a compassionate heart toward these babies, as much as we claim to for their mothers. We all started out this way: small and in our mother's womb. We were each nurtured tenderly by a woman and that is why we're here and able to discuss these things. This is an essential part of life. Mahatma Gandhi said, "The true measure of any society is how it treats it's most vulnerable members." This should make us check our pulse for why we really care about feminism. Do we really care about people? Or do we care about being known ourselves for being passionate about issues, that make us look like we care about people?
I want to end this article by expressing gratefulness for all of the women who stood up in generations past, and spoke up loudly about gender inequality. I am so grateful to be born into a time of freedom like never before, in this great nation. In a very real way I feel like the world is at my fingertips and there is an ember of excitement and hope that burns inside of me for my own future. As I write those words I am not naive to the fact that many are not so fortunate. How can I help them? What are my unique gifts, talents and passions? And where can they fuse together with my desire to help others? Of course, I have all kinds of ideas! And what a blessing and honor to get to pursue those dreams. I will, like many of you will, move forward with gratefulness and awareness. With eyes and ears open to see and hear the voices around me- with all of their own uniques passions and desires.
When You Want More
Have you caught it? The discontentment bug that is going around? It is especially infectious for women, mothers, wives.
It starts with a tug on your heart to do some things to better yourself, your life. It pulls you along on an internet search, finding resources and books – honing your mind in on exactly what you need. For me, this week, it started with the scoping out some happiness/goal setting/tracking journals. I've also been thinking about travel. Then, this evening I announced to my husband that I want us to find a babysitter. Someone we could rely on to come watch the littles, so we can do more with the bigs. Do more projects. Be more. Aspire to more. More, more, more. Discontentment.
Don't I have enough?
Don't you have enough?
Do we even do a good job with what we've been entrusted? My beautiful life right now would look like
Have you caught it? The discontentment bug that is going around? It is especially infectious for women, mothers, wives.
It starts with a tug on your heart to do some things to better yourself, your life. It pulls you along on an internet search, finding resources and books – honing your mind in on exactly what you need. For me, this week, it started with the scoping out some happiness/goal setting/tracking journals. I've also been thinking about travel. Then, this evening I announced to my husband that I want us to find a babysitter. Someone we could rely on to come watch the littles, so we can do more with the bigs. Do more projects. Be more. Aspire to more. More, more, more. Discontentment.
Don't I have enough?
Don't you have enough?
Do we even do a good job with what we've been entrusted? My beautiful life right now would look like waking up early and spending time with Jesus. Loving well and speaking to my kids with kindness. Noticing them more. Being present mentally more. And with all that pulls me away from those simple things, do I really want MORE? NO! So why am I so easily strung along to believe that this isn't enough? That I need skinnier, cleaner, more awake, more productive- more?
Where does this bug lead when left untreated?
Look around and you will see. Don't look at Instagram snap shots or the 5-star book reviews. Look into women's eyes, and hearts and homes. The warmth is pulled and stretched thin into striving. And I am grateful that tonight, God brought it to my heart, and let me catch it right here. Let my man lay hands on me and pray for my heart and this spirit of discontentment. Jesus, ground me in you- please. Let me find my way to fullness and completeness in you.
And then, from that place of wholeness, from that place of overflow (not from the lack)- may you lead me forward as you see fit.
Is it okay?
I find myself bouncing all over the place lately between things I want to do. This morning, I somehow found myself researching tummy-tucks and mommy-makeovers. Is this a viable option for me?
Sometimes lately I find myself thinking about traveling far, or making some big investment in a passion project.
With stereotypes and inhibitions flying out the windows, all of the sudden
I find myself bouncing all over the place lately between things I want to do. This morning, I somehow found myself researching tummy-tucks and mommy-makeovers. Is this a viable option for me?
Sometimes lately I find myself thinking about traveling far, or making some big investment in a passion project.
With stereotypes and inhibitions flying out the windows, all of the sudden we feel more freedom than ever. Anything is up for grabs. But as Christians, when we see the lack of inhibitions cross paths with darkness, we grow leery. A friend pursuing a divorce, or a sister posting that racy photo- people left and right taking the plunge into the I-don't-care-anymore zone.
Bottom line, we want to be free too, not STUCK because of our stale, old inhibitions. We want to take out the trash too and be free to think, feel and want some things. But if your heart is like mine, you are not going to be fooled into completely giving over to yourself, your feelings and your desires- because you know that is a dark place. You know that God calls us to die to ourselves for HIM, and if you're like me then you also know from experience that playing by your own rules, your own feelings, leads to your own downfall.
So what do I think? I think we are asking the wrong questions altogether. The question is not can I and should I. The question is have you spent time TODAY in communication with your Lord and Savior? Have you spent time telling him all of your needs, your wishes and desires? And have you allowed him time to pour back into you, read his word and allowed his sweet Holy Spirit to take control? Have you surrendered yourself to him? Otherwise, the enemy will keep stringing you along by your feelings, under the pretense of freedom in Christ. And you will never be satisfied.
Matthew 6:33
Jeremiah 17:9
This is a personal writing project meant to express my feelings and thoughts, not to be used in place of God’s word. Anything good and true that I write is only because he has blessed and gifted me to do so, but I am a sinner, saved by grace, and am prone to weakness, bias, harshness and fault. I hope that my words can lead you to seek more of your own personal walk with Christ, because HE is only place you will find real TRUTH and satisfaction.