A Letter To My Future Daughter-in-law

Please have patience with my son. I know that you see him as a strong man, and he loves showing off for you. This precious little boy was once my everything. My days were consumed with care for him. I watched him run around and play, and I kissed his boo-boos when he was hurt. I trained him to pick up his toys, share, be kind, use the potty and eat his vegetables (the best I could, anyway). There were days when I wanted to ship him off for someone else to deal with, and other days when my heart felt so much love for him I thought it would pop. I watched his little face asleep, and dreamed of who God made him to be. As he got older, I had to give him a little more freedom, let him make some mistakes and fight for him moor on my knees. I wanted him to love God more than anything and make the right decisions in light of that. I still want that- but he is human and a sinner just like we all are.

I'm writing this letter to you because I want you to know a few things:

1. First off, I realize that you have your own unique story. You were a girl once and loved dearly and tenderly by some special people. And I'm sure you have been hurt as well. Living on this planet seems to do that, and I'm so sorry for whatever unfair, harsh treatment you have suffered at the hands of careless or mean people. I hope to be someone in your life who will love you, affirm you, and help add to your healing and wholeness.

2. I see you as just as valuable a person as my son- and my prayer is to view and love you both as one. God's design is that you ARE one.

3. I will be FOR your marriage. I learned in my own premarital counseling that when there is a problem in your marriage, it is best to seek counsel from godly, trustworthy friends OUTSIDE of your extended family. And for many reasons, I believe that is the best way. But I want you to know that we are here for THE BOTH OF YOU. And when hardships arise, we will do our best to offer sound, Christ-centered advice that is FOR your marriage. God is FOR your marriage and so are we. And we will also do our best to adhere to the boundaries your family puts in place.

4. Put up boundaries. The  beginning of your marriage is a fragile and precious time of getting to know one another, and growing in Christ's love together as one. Keep your heart and ears open and aimed at Jesus. Limit distractions and people who pull you toward what is not good for your heart and marriage, Be patient, loving but firm in your convictions. I will respect your boundaries.

I pray we can grow in patience and love toward one another- and that those same traits will spread throughout our family as it grows. We love you sweet lady, and I'm SO happy you are the one God chose for our son.

All my love always,

Mom 

Mom of Boys

Oh my heart today. As I sat in that little wooden half-dome in the play room, and watch T walking around with his "tool", trying to "fix things" for me.

Oh my heart is splattered. This responsibility of being a mom to this boy- all the boys; my heart throbs and I don't want to mess it up. I don't want to go into a numb funk and forget this important focus:

The heart of my boys, my husband included, loves to serve me!

They want to see me smile big and proud and say things like, "Great job!!" and "Thank you SO much!!" and "Wow, you are so strong and so good at that."

I know because as I say those things my two-year-old runs quickly to the next thing to "fix it" as fast as he can. And he says, "I fix for you, Mom." My. Heart.

I know because my oldest son tells me for almost the first five minutes of every car-ride home from school about all of his amazing feats in gym class and recess. How many 3-point shots he made and how he made the winning play for the team. He wants me to know all of his victories and triumphs so I can say: "Wow, great job, buddy." And I know I need to work on it more with this one. How do I encourage his heart in the right ways? Toward good. God, I need your help here and I don't want to forget. 

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and my husband has been telling me for 3 days straight that I can go spend $100 at the store, and buy myself a new purse. Everyday he reminds me (as if I would forget:)- and I was almost tempted to get annoyed at him for trying to use the same thing to rack up invisible points (they always want the points, you know). He kept saying the same kind of thing:

"I want you to have a nice bag that you really like. Something nice. Something you will love."

"I got it!!" I wanted to say.

Oh, shame on me. This is a boy, grown into a man with that same heart that just wants to please me. He takes pleasure in serving me and watching my reaction. Oh God, please give me the right reactions and responses! Help me to be good to these precious, precious hearts that you've called me to love and serve. Open my eyes to SEE their intentions and desires. Help me to not be too distracted, but to notice when and what I need to notice. And please, help me to be KIND.

Galatians 5:22-23